No need to thank me

It’s Saturday and I know they are all out there — just about every soul from L.A. to the border. Please don’t ask me to get in my car. Don’t ask me to drive anywhere or, heaven forfend, try to “run in and grab” anything that should “just take a minute.”
The streets are clogged. Every stoplight is red. The parking lots are stuffed. The check-out lines are backed up into the aisles. I am inclined to ask, “Who are all these people, and where do they hang out all week?” But then I remember I live in Southern California and the question becomes moot.
Has anyone else noticed that weekend travel has become, shall we say, trying? And early Christmas decorations have nothing to do with it. It has been this way all year. It might even ease up once the stores start offering extended holiday hours. I truly do adore those extended holiday hours, don’t you? I wish they would run forever. Or maybe we could open early, stay open late but close for siesta, like in oh-so-civilized Spain.
Please know that just because I am impatient does not mean I am judging the many hardworking folk who have no real choice but to do all their errands on weekends. Every single weekend, I do my darnedest to help. I am trying my best to stay out of everyone else’s way. You thought I stayed in bed until noon on Saturday because I’m lazy and self-indulgent? Tsk. I do it all for you. I am making that oh-so-difficult effort not to leap out of bed at 6 a.m. and add my presence to the frenzied crowds.
No, don’t thank me. It’s just the kind of gal I am. And it might actually work, except that no matter how many times I try to whittle down that ever-growing list of must-do items during the week, I always, always forget something. I’ll be comfy in my raggedy jeans and slippers, trying to lay low, read a book, surf the Internet, maybe even defrost the refrigerator, when I discover I am out of A, B or X and simply cannot wait until Monday for it. Drat! Then there I am, adding to the weekend crush.
Nonetheless, I will continue my noble efforts to avoid stepping beyond my driveway this weekend. Think fondly of me as you are fighting for that parking place or standing behind that lady with the heaped cart and the coupons. If I have any choice at all, I am making the sacrifice and laying down for a nap. The freeway is all yours.