Skip the pleasantries and tea with cucumber sandwiches

Recently, I have encountered some pretty shallow excuses from someone that used to be a close friend. At some point though, you must be honest with yourself. Does this friendship help or hinder my life?
That’s what I have been wondering lately. Sometimes being nice just gets in the way of truth. I’m sure you had those moments, too. Placating others to keep life at an even tempo. Why discuss hard issues if we can just keep a smile on our face? Let me sum it up for you. Life is not meant to be a tea party, with pleasantries and thin cucumber sandwiches.
 I don’t want to get into any specifics, but this situation has compelled my inner warrior to share with you something deeper this week than my “lighter write on skinny models.” Anguish or hurt can remind us of what we lost along the way in our own personal journey, especially when you love your friend. I turn inward and become reflective, which usually affects my dreams when I am sleeping.
Like last night, I dreamt of the past. I remembered how last year my Great Aunt Leota died on the same day as my Grandma Lula did. When I awoke, I thought about loved ones that I have lost. I thought about others that have lost family members recently, too. I thought about all of these deeper issues we hate to feel and touch. But life does not always turn out the way we had hoped. With that being said, I reach out to my readers and say only this:
Be real to someone that matters to you! Share love. Share your heart and soul with ordinary people, like the homeless you see. Give them only a dollar, and you at least acknowledge their presence as they are human, too.
I say dive into the deep blue sea, sink beneath the murky water of your subconscious and visit what you have buried there. Seek your weakness, your anger, your muse, your nemesis, you battleground. Go there and fight. Make life anything but boring. Dream of the hidden things in-between. Reach out into the darkness and seek and if there is no response keep reaching until you pull yourself through to the other side, to the place you can feel in your heart, you can see, you can touch, you can be, dare to pull yourself to the other side without the aid of anyone. What I speak of deals with the battling of will and soul and mind converging into something … honest. I speak of real; I speak of the truth written in ”Velveteen Rabbit,” a child’s classic. I speak of soul.
Do something soulful and watch your world expand and open. Be free of judgment. Be free of what you might lose if you succeed. Be free to ask for more. Ask for more and receive. When a fire comes and destroys a neighborhood it might take two or three years to rebuild but don’t give up hope. Grab this life and do what you can. You have your very own story to write. If you don’t like the way it’s going, you can always change “plots” midstream.
You can. Ask me I know. Be bold. Be vulnerable to at least one soul walking this planet. Live and spread joy everywhere. This life is in dire need of a soul to take the higher road.
This world is in need of you to be … real.
After all, tea parties don’t last after the hot water is gone and the plate is empty.
Around town</strong
On Sept. 28, I attended the weekly RSF Rotary luncheon at The Inn at Rancho Santa Fe. Realtor and Ranch resident Patrick Galvin invited me as his guest for the day. Well, let me tell you, that was indeed a special day. What a wonderful group of professionals. “Service above self,” their motto, states the simplicity and sophistication of this international organization. The Rotary Club promotes and serves communities all over the world. I met Club President Maurice H. Rahimi and well-known business philanthropist Irene Valenti. They posed with Mr. Galvin for a picture, which I thought captured the inspiring professionalism that day. Thank you, for the invitation Patrick, you made my day! I look forward to the next meeting. For more information on this wonderful organization, check out www.ranchosantaferotary.org.
On Oct. 1, The Rancho Santa Fe School Board honored students at Roger Rowe that received a perfect score on their MAPS scores last year. Grades four through seven were honored in a cramped classroom filled with proud parents. Each student was called by name for their personal achievements and awarded a certificate. Then they shook the hand of each school board member. You can only imagine my own delighted surprise when I found out my son, Jackson Tuck, received a perfect MAPS Math score. Superintendent Linda Delaney posed with Jackson for a picture. Thank you so much to Roger Rowe School Board members for honoring these students! If you are a parent, that had a student honored that night, too, please send a photo if you would like to share it in the next paper.
On Oct. 2, the sky opened and poured buckets of rain all over San Diego. If you know me well enough, you know that rainy days are like Christmas for me in California.
Originally from the Midwest, I cherish cloudy days and the fall season. After picking Jackson up from the RSF Community Center (they are awesome!), I discovered the most spectacular site: A double rainbow over the heart of Rancho Santa Fe. I jumped out of my car immediately and photographed the inspiring moment. Let’s just keep our fingers crossed for more rain during fire season!
On Oct. 12, I was alerted to the fact someone had moved our Rancho Santa Fe newspaper bin in front of Willis Allen … hmmm, maybe the competitors are feeling the pressure. Anyway, great things always come from precarious situations, or at least that has been my experience in life. Brooke Hansen — the real estate assistant to Kelly Pottorff and Tammy Tidmore/Willis Allen team informed me that Tammy is participating in the “3 Day Breast Cancer Walk” in San Diego. The event is Nov. 20 to Nov. 22. I’m sure we all know someone that has died from this deadly disease. I lost a good friend at the beginning of this year, too. Please show your support by supporting Tammy Tidmore in her efforts to help find a cure against breast cancer. I’m sure we all know someone that has died from this deadly disease. I lost a good friend at the beginning of this year, too. Please show your support by supporting Tammy Tidmore in her efforts to help find a cure against breast cancer. Please check out this link if you would like to help raise money to fight this deadly disease: http://www.the3day.org/ site/TR/Walk/SanDiegoEvent2009?px=3217153&pg=personal&fr_id=1298.
On Oct. 15, the Rotary had their wonderful Rancho Days Barbecue. The residents all came out in droves for this festive evening. Hamburgers and hot dogs were the hot ticket, along with a wine and beer bar. A deejay entertained the crowd, while the younger children enjoyed the jumpie castle. Wells Fargo sponsored the stage coach ride. I snapped a lovely picture of some of the hardworking Rotarian’s — Soo Lerche, Katie Hawkes and Ron Elgart. What a wonderful evening for everyone that attended.
On Oct. 16, my favorite Rancho Day finally arrived: Fandango/Chili cook-off! I managed to squeeze in some quick chili making with my good friend Melissa Willams for our version of three bean turkey chili. Coming from Missouri, you can imagine stews and big pots of yummy foods are easy for this girl. Unfortunately, I missed most of the festivities due to some work at the paper and really awful Friday night traffic. When I arrived I had discovered that we came in third place for best chili. OK, I’ll take that. Donna Holcombe won the Chili Cook-off. Congrats to Donna, I am just sad I didn’t get to sample the winning pot! I must say with David Wiemers — one of the best reporters around town — spear-heading the cook-off, this year’s evening went much more smoothly than last year’s “stuffing-the-ballot” drama. Kudos to the Historical Society for a wonderful Friday evening.
On Oct. 17, I attended Santa Fe Christian’s homecoming football game, with my good friend Jill Sorge. If you are unfamiliar with this  school, start looking for more coverage of their events in my upcoming columns. This first event I attended brought me back in time to my high school days. I snapped a beautiful shot of Katie Weisenberger and Jenna Puterbaugh right before the half-time ceremony. I will reveal in my next column the winner of homecoming and some behind the scene photos, later that evening. Another important point to mention is the Santa Fe Christian’s football team is 6-0 for this season. For more information on this private school that builds moral character based on a foundation of academic excellence located just around the corner from the Ranch in Solana Beach, check out their www.sfcs.net, or call Vicki O’Rourke at (858)-755-8900 regarding upcoming events. 
Save the dates
On Nov. 2 at the Coyote Bar and Grill located at 300 Carlsbad Drive, help support New Haven Youth Foundation. This fun evening will be filled with wonderful food, fine drinks and dancing, including a live auction. All proceeds go to support the boys at New Haven. Founded in 1967, New Haven has been enriching the lives of youth between the ages of 12 to 17. For more about this event, check out, www.newhavenyfs.org or call (760) 630-4035.
On Nov. 10, Linda Sansone invites you to join her at Plume for a fine evening of shopping, desserts and treats between 5 and 8 p.m. The Pantry will be catering the evening and part of the proceeds will be donated to the California Bipolar Foundation. If you haven’t shopped at Plume, this will be an excellent opportunity to get acquainted with one of the best boutiques in town. Their address is 6024 Paseo Delicias. Don’t miss pre-holiday fund-raising evening! For more information, contact Linda@LindaSansone.com.

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