Doorman Diaries

Lessons from a week of television

Turning on the television or reading news Web sites either makes me laugh or cry — and wish that whole 2012 apocalypse is actually real. So I thought I’d share some of my thoughts on the info that has meandered my way recently.
Things I learned from watching the news this week:
— That Republican lobbyists will pay scared white people to act scared and be really white then scream the word “socialism” over and over at town hall meetings until I get bored and want to watch “Mythbusters” instead.
— That apparently Michael Jackson died. By ingesting or being administered 1,634 drugs on a daily basis. Oh, and as it turns out, his family is even crazier than he was. It seems the most sane person in his family is his daughter. Unfortunately, her name is Paris.
— That Fox News and MSNBC are both unintentionally funny for different reasons.
— That I’d like to kick Bill O’Reilly in the teeth. Hard.
— That the Cash for Clunkers program is almost out of money and that apparently that’s socialism too. (Note to self: learn what socialism is)
— That by now, I’m sure my two-year-old car is now considered a clunker.
That all the tweens are all a twitter about “Twilight.” That sentence is tewiffic.
That Hollywood is trying to sully every single cartoon or show I enjoyed as a kid. “Transformers,” “Land of the Lost,” and now “G.I. Joe.” How dare you? I’d rather stick my head in a meat grinder than watch Dennis Quaid and the other Wayans brother ruin another childhood memory.
That rich spoiled brats can take drugs, break the law, and show a basic disregard for other humans just because people want to see what they’ll do next. Yeah, I hate the NFL too …
— That half of the information being relayed on television, radio or the interwebs is massaged by unscrupulous people hoping to alter public opinion. The other half is just crap.
— That thinking for yourself is harder that it seems.