So from time to time my brain takes a wicked deuce and I can’t think of anything to write about. It happens to the best of us.

And by best of us, I mean those people that are actually real writers and suffer through writer’s block.

So I thought the next best (lazy) thing to do would be Google “creative writing prompts” and see what casually falls into my lap.

Lo and behold, a Web site with the words “creative writing tips” in the address. How “creative” of someone to title the Web site something so obvious and banal. I sense irony somewhere ...

As I’m looking through the 302 ideas on the front page, I’m struck by a strong sense of relief that I never took a creative writing course in college. Which I’m sure is a huge shock to any of you that read my column.

Some of these ideas are so off-the-wall, it’s really hard to take them seriously. Not to mention the fact you’d probably be graded by a burned-out former novelist who’s still working on the first chapter of a profound novel about life as a child and the struggles that ensued. Zzzzz ... whatever.

My answers to the following prompts are most likely why I never got a grade above C in my high school English classes.

No. 5 “Choose a poem you like and use the last line as the first line of a poem of your own.” The only thing I can think of right now is the Man from Nantucket and obviously that’s the first line. And I know I’m not allowed to use those words.

No. 7 “Electricity is a new discovery. Think of 12 things to do when there’s no power.” OK, that’s just a dumb question. Anyone with half a brain knows you can only sleep, drink and have sex when there’s no electricity. So, three at best. Maybe four if you have a strong, eerily creepy imagination.

No. 135 “List 50 things you’ll never do.” Finish this column with dumb prompts like that ... times 50

No. 238 “Use this cliche anywhere in your story: ‘Growing like a weed.’” Most of my customers would like to start growing (their own weed) like (someone that owns) a weed (plantation).

No. 129 “Write a light-hearted piece about getting along with an enemy.” Shoot them. Hide the body. Laugh about it.

No. 20 “Write about the color of hunger.” What is that even supposed to mean? I don’t have a clue what color hungry is, but I know what the color of being full is.

Unfortunately, I could wax snarktastic all day with the myriad of dumb things they have on this Web site.

And I don’t want to use them all because I know I’m going to need them the next time my brain turns off.

So until then, thanks for your time and your e-mails … Mom.